Aim: to describe a setting using the five senses: touch, taste, smell, sight and sound
I exited the balloon taxi and paused for a moment to take in the strange surroundings. Ahead of me, I saw a lady outside a shop chatting to her friend and holding what seemed to be a large cat-like creature. The next thing I became aware of was some catchy jazz music coming from the corner of the square. The musician was playing what I thought was an accordion-trumpet but the odd thing was he was not blowing the instrument. Instead, the sound it made was not particularly soothing. For a few seconds, I forgot about my hotel because coming from a corner behind me was a smell so fabulous it dragged me to it. I thought it was coming from a restaurant but surprisingly it was coming from a mobile food stand. I was staring at a man who was pouring cream of some kind into a carrot-shaped cone and I was starving so I approached him and pleaded for a taste. It was heavenly. I had to leave him a tip. I really wanted to find my hotel now because I couldn't bare the impossible weight of my bag.
COMMENTARY:
Just as the main character in 'The Arrival' is feeling lost and confused at this point in the story, having arrived in a strange new country, I also want the readers of my writing above to feel that same feeling of being lost and confused.
I did this by using lots of 'position' phrases such as… . One after the other, they create a feeling of dizziness hopefully. Can you spot any of the other 'position' phrases that I used? Answers in the 'Comments' section please!
Confusion was also created by my use of 'uncertainty' words and phrases such as… . They cause the reader to feel unsure of the things being described - just like the main character. Can you identify any other words or phrases of 'uncertainty'? Again, post your ideas in the 'Comments' section.
Just as the main character in 'The Arrival' is feeling lost and confused at this point in the story, having arrived in a strange new country, I also want the readers of my writing above to feel that same feeling of being lost and confused.
I did this by using lots of 'position' phrases such as… . One after the other, they create a feeling of dizziness hopefully. Can you spot any of the other 'position' phrases that I used? Answers in the 'Comments' section please!
Confusion was also created by my use of 'uncertainty' words and phrases such as… . They cause the reader to feel unsure of the things being described - just like the main character. Can you identify any other words or phrases of 'uncertainty'? Again, post your ideas in the 'Comments' section.